Understanding emotional intelligence is critical to growing in leadership. A common theme throughout leadership literature is when EQ improves, personal leadership improves. This post provides a brief introduction to emotional intelligence and offers a tool to help leaders work at improving their emotional intelligence.
Harvard researcher Daniel Goleman believes EQ is broken down into four domains. The four domains are Self Awareness, Self Management, Social Awareness, and Relationship Management. These domains help leaders understand emotional intelligence and areas needing personal improvement. At the core, understanding emotional intelligence takes patience, focused effort, and time. This might be a quicker process for some, but the work in this area is vital to improving leadership skills and influence. For this blog, two of Goleman’s four domains are highlighted: Self-Awareness and Self-Management.
Self-aware leaders understand what is happening on the inside and recognize that their personal emotions are just as important as what is going on around them. Leaders who are able to pause and assess what is going on internally situate themselves in better decision-making positions. Furthermore, self-aware leaders understand their personal strengths and struggles.
After conducting a self-assessment, emotionally intelligent leaders can manage their own impulses and destructive behaviors. You might have witnessed leaders being ‘calm under pressure.’ Often, these leaders are not much different from you—they have just put in the work to keep the chaos inside on the inside.
Goleman describes this as self-management, which consists of four primary competencies. Emotionally intelligent leaders practice emotional self-control, are adaptable and agile in the face of change or disruption, have a high standard of excellence, and strive to keep a positive outlook regardless of the situation. Working on these four competencies will likely yield growth in self-management.
So, how can leaders work at improving their emotional intelligence? At SNU, we highlight a tool to help leaders along this EQ journey. A practice you have likely heard about since childhood might be a great tool to help work on improving emotional intelligence. This practice is patience. When you feel like you are moving at a breakneck pace, patience demands you slow down. When you feel like your heart and mind are racing, patience suggests you take a breath. When information is overwhelming, and decisions need to be made, patience encourages introspection.
Leaders who practice patience take the time to look inward, draw on past experiences, and reach out to trusted peers and colleagues to help make better decisions. Leaders who institute patterns in their own lives that help them grow in patience will likely find they grow in their emotional intelligence along the way.
The next time you feel overwhelmed, take a breath and recognize what is happening inside. Work at finding ways to control your emotions, focusing as much on what is happening on the inside as what is happening around you. Working on your emotional intelligence is a life-long journey, but we encourage you to begin now. Take some time this week to be more patient with your work colleagues, your family and friends, and most importantly, yourself.
Do you find it challenging to be patient during times of transition? You're not alone! The transition time between something old and something new happening (or where you are to where you're going to be) is known as liminal space and can be a great source of anxiety for many people. Watch this video featuring former SNU Chaplain Dr. Doug Samples as he discusses liminal space and how we can view tumultuous times as God's invitation to trust Him as we navigate the wait.