The Fear of Being Stuck in a Box Called Marriage
By Chaplain Doug Samples
Many people in our American culture today
see marriage as a BOX!
You have to pick your BOX carefully because
you’re stuck with it the rest of your life.
If you picked a good BOX, you’re lucky… so enjoy it.
If you picked a bad BOX, either…
1. Get out and look for a new one
2. Stay put and put up with it.
First Option (Get out and look for a new box)
We have a “Mulligan Marriage!”
We jump from one box to another box.
And when we jump from box to box,
the pain sends out destructive ripples in every direction.
So, because of all the pain, we choose the second option…
We stay put and put up with it.
Put more ducktape on the lid and put up with a disappointing relationship.
My unhappy marriage is my punishment for picking the wrong person for my box.
Friends… This. Is. NOT. God’s. Plan. For. Us!
Marriage is not a Box to be stuck in,
It’s a Journey to grow in!
Can I suggest some attitudes for the Journey of Marriage?
1. It is very important to select your mate very carefully
not because you’re stuck,
but because you want to fulfill God’s best for your life.
During the dating process,
you don’t need to take your clothes off
and get sexual…
You need to take your mask(s) off
and get serious about what values you have in common.
2. The secret to a successful marriage is not your ability
to PICK the right person
but your willingness to BE the right person!
For each of you, there needs to be
a willingness to Be/Become the right person.
A commitment to Growing… Maturing… Learning… Adapting…
3. You can change!
It’s hard... but you can change.
It’s hard… but it’s worth it!
The truth is… you can change.
The question is… are you willing to?
Just within the recent weeks,
Cheryl and I have had to have
some difficult conversations about our marriage.
Things that I need to change.
Things that she needs to change.
Our marriage is not a box that we are stuck in,
it’s a journey for us to grow in.
What if marriage is not meant to make us Happy,
but it’s meant to make us Holy!
Marriage is living in a covenant with another human
who is helping me along the journey
of becoming a whole, holy person.
Just in case there is anyone still reading this who is NOT married,
this message is not just for married couples.
Also for those who are either never married
or married and divorced or married and widowed…
This is an opportunity to reaffirm the sanctity of marriage!
In the midst of a very divided country
I wish we could all agree on restoring the sacredness of marriage
and see it as one more way that God is wanting to bless our lives!
If your marriage/divorce/remarriage has created toxic levels of stress… please use this link and let me know how best to pray for you.